April Fools

This last month has been very hard. I have been sick since before Christmas of 2025, and now I am having another body flare. Stress is a wonderful thing. This is April 1, 2026, and this is not an April Fool’s joke. This past Sunday, we had a family dinner, which we do every weekend with my grandchildren and our daughters. As I do most weekends, I cooked for the family. During the meal, it was very tense in our home because some issues had come up.  After supper and the children and everybody had left, I asked my wife, who is moving back to New Brunswick in September, if I would be going with her, or if she wanted to go by herself. She said she wanted to go back east to start over and have a life of her own. You see, I have chosen MAID for when it gets too hard for me to handle myself. Because I have been sick for so long, we have not been sleeping together because I can’t lie down at night, I have to sleep on an incline, or I can’t breathe, and I am up and down 2 to 5 times a night because of my body pain. Some nights I don’t sleep at all. I’ve been sick since 1999, and my sickness is just progressing. With my wife telling me that she wanted to go back east by herself, I am stuck now trying to figure out low-income housing, how to get my medical set up so I can still have my insulin and pills, how I can keep my little dog, and what’s going to become of me. I have days when I walk around the house and don’t see anything. I have days when I walk around the house, and it seems like I don’t know where I am. Stress is working on me harder now than my illness. So now I have to go through legal separation, leave my home, and see if I’m going to end up living on the street; I never thought in a million years this would be happening to me. Life can be funny sometimes, and other times not. What should I do, end my life or see if it is the stress that is hitting me? What would you all do?